A while ago I received a call from Yomin Postelnik. What he told me had happened in the interim shocked me. After talking more I decided that the least I could do would be to write my thoughts.
It's one thing to reconsider whether to save a marriage. It's another thing for those pushing for a religious divorce to use false pretenses to have someone arrested, smear them and attempt to beat them up. Yomin Postelnik consulted a list of experts that he was happy to provide me with. They include a professor at Boruch College, Dr. Mordechai Rindenow, a postnatal organization called SPARKS and several rabbinical judges. He wasn't just doing what was clearly right, to try to save a marriage. He was also following the advice of experts the whole time.
None of that is of any concern to the activists who were so quick to trash him. But it should be of concern to us. So here's what I know:
Yomin is a good father and former foster parent. He's also a passionate defender of the values that he believes in, and this is how I knew him best. But there's something more to him, and that's the personal interest that he takes in his friends. He's someone who you want in your corner, he's someone who you can feel cares about you and while he's quick with advice, it's good advice and very insightful. In short, he's a good and decent man who I consider lucky to have as a friend.
I don't know his ex-wife. I spoke with her once, briefly, and my quick opinion of her was that she's a good person too. Yomin confirmed to me that a lot of the attacks against him had nothing to do with her and were started by a radical organization that, to paraphrase his words, "is attacking his religion and all of family life at its core."
He shared a story that his wife wanted a divorce. Trying to prevent it, he simply asked for counseling sessions before any decision could be made. He also asked for a postpartum evaluation, because there was a marked change in his ex-wife's behavior after the birth of their children. He explained that many women go through difficult times after birth and lose hope or feel like they're up against the world.
He said that many rabbis helped him out, but a group of "modern rabbis" who professionally engage in mudslinging in order to procure religious divorces, were brought into the picture.
The wife also had consulted custody advocates. This made matters even more ridiculous. A ridiculous criminal charge was attempted, one that was thrown out of court before it could ever be heard before a judge, mostly because they same people who cooked them up had said things diametrically opposite mere hours before to the custody evaluator. It was this sordid attempt at a charge, that the get advocates used in their smear campaign.,
Although the separated couple mutually agreed to discuss their differences at a rabbinical tribunal, who decided that Yomin's request was reasonable, another leftist tribunal called "Beth Din of America" involved themselves and launched into a defamation campaign (including extorting Yomin with the above referenced false charge). Fortunately Yomin called their bluff and refused to back down. Eventually a proper rabbi excommunicated the rabbi who found Yomin in "contempt" as a result of his insistence on counseling and a postpartum eval before making a decision on divorce.
I have nothing against Yomin's ex. Like Yomin, she was active in the community. Both had been fully vetted foster parents. She probably did half of what she did in an attempt to fight for custody. If anything I know about divorce lawyers, feminist social workers and the like is true, they not only want to break up families at any cost, but also revel in trying to destroy the husband.
Yomin deserves far better than what people who've never met him or his ex-wife have done to him. His ex-wife also deserved an opportunity to save her marriage without agenda-driven third parties wreaking havoc on an already stressful situation. Their kids deserved better. They deserved for people who don't know either party, to stay out of the mix.
Yomin forwarded me letters from rabbis condemning the actions of the self-styled "Beth Din of America," which has been described as an activist group that masquerades as a rabbinical court, and a list of professionals who recommended trying to save the marriage and ignoring the modern ones. Some of the stuff is in Hebrew and I may post it together with his translations. In the meantime I just set up this site to clear the air and to let others know the truth.